Monday, September 28, 2009

"Bourgeois in a Carriage" by Pavel Filonov


I didn't see this piece in person, but even here on a computer screen, is exquisite (click image above to enlarge). A continuation of yesterday's entry... another painting by Pavel Filonov. Speaking of Pavel, loved being in Russia and hearing all these names as common as John, but for me, funny-sounding names I'd only known from Chekov. It used to be so hard for me to follow all those long-lettered character names with endless consonants, but now, am happy to have a context for them. Actually being in Russia was overall enlightening. While there, it just washed on me all the great Russian art, literature, philosophy, and drama that has influenced my life, just by seeing names, being in places of historical import, seeing the remnants of that history, and of course immersing myself in Tretyakov. Sadly, didn't have time for the Pushkin, State, Moscow and Revolutionary Museums. It took me a rushed day to even get through one floor of the Tret, which in no way is a large museum. Just so much information and beauty on those walls. What a journey of the mind and the senses. Another thing that was amazing to understand about Russia, is that it truly is Europe AND Asia. And by Asia, from the Siberian side all the way to the Caucus Mountains and Turkey. And by Europe, influence from France, Greece, Germany, and its own Jewish population. Just an amazingly rich country. I am amazed that the country has existed so large for so long with such traditionally diverse cultures that spans across so much earth, and then organized such a large-scaled revolutionary movement.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

"Ships"by Pavel Filonov, Tretyakov Gallery, Moscow


Saw a series of works recently by Pavel Filonov at the amazing Tretyakov Gallery (could spend weeks there) in Moscow. This is the only one of three that I could find from this series online. It not only resonates so much history that spans across time and geography, but has an amazing psychedelic quality to it. This reproduction of course does no justice to the real thing and the experience of it. You don't see scale, how small, varied and colorful each composite shape is, the details!!!, the eyes, the repetition of forms (eyes, pre-historic heads, feet, etc.) This comes from a series that is brown, with blue hues, as you can see above. Really gorgeous work. An artist I need to learn more about. And discover whether he experimented with some Siberian mushrooms of the magic shamanic variety.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

One year ago today, Gomo's Transformation Day, 9/1/08


In remembrance of the one year anniversary of our family matriarch's transformation day, gomo, my auntie, our family elder, who raised me. Thank you for teaching us so much because of your strength of character. Sometimes good, sometimes terrible. But always directed and strong and opinionated and absolute... a definitive starting point. I hope she is now the liberation she sought her whole life, tho, through the church. As I sit here remembering her and wondering how to celebrate her today, I recall and find my diary entry from a year ago today...

An achingly beautiful morning woke me up from my sleep in the late 8 o’clock hour. It was such a beautiful morning that it hurt. I took a conscious breath.

The drums were beating outside of my window in festivities for West Indian Day Carnaval. It made me excited to get up. I took another moment and breathed in the morning before I got up. Noticed my breath.

The sun beamed into my apartment and beckoned me to go outside. I got on my bike and tooled around, from Nostrand, to Empire to Eastern Parkway. The last was empty, but with such a feeling of anticipation, charged energy. All the vendors and police setting up, organizing. I biked uphill, it felt incredible, movement, up to the Parkway, then made my way into Prospect Park around the loop then back home, just feeling wind and sun. I felt free.

That light. That sky. A morning so beautiful it hurt. A strange thought entered my mind: if there was ever a day to commit suicide, this would be it. What could one hope in life for that was more than this? Then I began to really think about death, until I got to a place of fear, and made myself think of something else. I thought about 9/11 and how that morning also was so beautiful. Another morning where you take note at how incredible the morning was, the clear sky, something about the light. I thought maybe the angle of the sun in September is tilted differently, is changing from its summer position. The light is so specific. That clear sky is so specific. There is such a crispness in the molecules of air, and light. I celebrated the morning. Made breakfast and actually sat down, in silence, in the sunlight streaming in my living room, breathed and ate. It was delicious. I crawled back into bed watching the trees move, feeling the green, outside my window. I felt beautiful. I rolled around in bed just feeling.

Few hours later, I received a call that Gomo had passed away at 8:47AM..today 9/1/08

Gomo gomo gomo. I don’t believe it.